therefore i am…inactive

hey everyone! happy (late) new year! so much has happened since i last posted, obviously but i would love to know about your lives. please comment down below anything you want to share (if you don’t want it visible on the comment feed, please mention that, i’ll reply via email). as you all must surely know, i have been extremely inactive recently, but please know that you guys have a special place in my heart.

age updates: i’m sixteen (going on 17 *cue sound of music playlist*)

2020 was a crappy year for everyone, i suppose (but if it wasn’t, power to u!) but it’s a new year. all of us have heard fantastical tales about new starts. (it’s your birthday, it’s a new start or it’s the new year, it’s a new start) and so many others. throughout the last year, i found and lost myself and i know it’s THE most cliché thing to say, but it is the shortest way to define all i went thru. and a little reminder to everyone: your struggles aren’t a competition. you might be going thru depression and your friend might have lost their parents, but that doesn’t mean you don’t get to be sad. mental health is as important as physical health, maybe even more.

i also was closer to God than i have ever been, and try to start and end my day with a random Bible verse. story time: i believe the greatest things in the world are love, hope and faith. and i live by that, or i try to. but one day, i wasn’t feeling very happy and i just sat down on the bathroom floor, in the middle of my bath, and cried my heart out. i hadn’t found a love like they talk about in songs or movies, my friends were acing their grades while i was barely passing (i wasn’t jealous, but this reason made me feel like my problems were trivial, they would tell me not to worry and work on my future. but it wasn’t as easy as that), my faith in life and (i am ashamed to admit this, but) Jesus was slowly fading and my hope for a happy life had almost gone. thankfully, the Lord found me again and has put my heart at peace. i will believe in His name.

i found friends that i’ve known my whole life but never really “known”. i grew apart from people who i lived for in 2019. i have a love-hate relationship with my family, but i wouldn’t have it any other way deep down in my soul. i colored my hair red (which faded when i jumped in a pool w/o a swimming cap DON’T TRY THAT EVER, KIDS!) and found myself to actually be pretty. i got a new cousin in late 2019, and he is the cutest and happiest little baby i have ever seen.

okay so this is unrelated but you are gonna love me for this (hopefully). i have found the easiest recipe for the most amazing chocolate lava mug cake ever! i will be posting an article about it soon, so stay tuned!

the elephant in the room, coronavirus, is still large and in charge. but we’re getting to a place where it might not be anymore. slowly, we’re fighting it. also, TO ALL MY AUSTRALIAN-NEW ZEALANDERS READING THIS, I AM PROUD OF Y’ALL BY EPIC PROPORTIONS! i hope none of you or your loved ones have contracted covid.

i hope you guys have a wonderful life ahead. i have finals soon, so i (fingers crossed!) might post more in summer but irdek and honestly, that’s okay.

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